Cute Funny Quotes - Page 10

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
        —Peter De Vries

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
        —Nancy Mitford

I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
        —Mel Gibson

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
        —William Faulkner

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.
        —Robert Paul

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
        —Rodney Dangerfield

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
        —Emo Philips

I was allowed to ring the bell for five minutes until everyone was in assembly. It was the beginning of power.
        —Jeffrey Archer

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
        —David Niven (The Moon is Blue, 1953)

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
        —Marty Feldman

Words of Wisdom:

• It is preferable to the good of many to the opulence of a few.
• I'm not sure how I became a comedian or comic actor. Maybe not. In any case I've earned the good life for a number of years posing as one.
• As difficult as it is easy to be attempted.
• If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the pit.
• Kindness is always a sign of treason.
• Just seeing the dark, it takes longer to completely clear.
• If you pay, or lose money or feel like an enemy.
• The dwarf giant sees everywhere.
• Spiders trapped flies away, leaving the wasps.
• Everything that exists is a virgin who must be loved to be fruitful.