Cute Funny Quotes - Page 9

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.
        —G. K. Chesterton

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
        —Groucho Marx

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
        —Rodney Dangerfield

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
        — Bob Hope

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
        —Woody Allen

I dream for a living.
        —Steven Spielberg

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
        —Groucho Marx

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
        —Mel Brooks (on writing his Memoirs)

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
        —Noel Coward

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
        —Jerome K Jerome (Three Men in a Boat, 1889)

Words of Wisdom:

• Dreaming is the oldest aesthetic activity.
• If you intend and strive to please everyone, you end up not pleasing anyone.
• Only misfortune can turn a heart of stone in a human heart.
• A dead king, king post.
• To love, to the bathroom and the grave, should go naked.
• The calculation never makes the hero.
• It should be given to others, but not giving it to oneself.
• "Room service? Send me a bigger room.
• The perfection of giving orders is to be peaceful, the fighting, lack of anger of someone who wants to win, not to fight, which is operated by men, put them below.
• Anyone who wants to be a tyrant and does not kill Brutus and which wants to establish a free and does not kill the sons of Brutus, only briefly kept his work.