Funny Movie Quotes - Page 10

Kevin: Buzz's girlfriend, Woof!
        — Home Alone

Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.
Stacy: Open It
Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack
Wayne: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack.
        — Wayne's World

Doug Butabi: You can take our car, and you can take our keys, but you cannot take away our dreams!
Steve Butabi: Yeah, because we're sleeping when we have them!
        — A Night at the Roxbury

Andy Dick: He left me with a little something called herpes... Which I then gave to the dog. But thats neither here nor there.
        — Old School

Derek Zoolander: I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
        — Zoolander

Black Guy: Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: Darn, ****, and That is whack.
        — Not Another Teen Movie

John Beckwith- I went with Chazz who you forgot to tell me is totally insane. Although he may actually be a genius because it really does work, he's cleaning up.
        — Wedding Crashers

Bernie Focker: You fockerized them!
Roz Focker: Yeah!
Bernie Focker: I'm gonna fockerize you!
        — Meet the Fockers

Lyle Rogers:What a smuck I was...
Chuck Clarke: Schmuck! It's not smuck. Schmuck!
Lyle Rogers: Smuck!
Chuck Clarke: [loud] Schmuck!
Lyle Rogers: Sssssssssmuck!
Chuck Clarke: Say ssshhhh
Lyle Rogers: Ssshhhhhh.
Chuck Clarke: Now say muck.
Lyle Rogers: [soft] Muck.
Chuck Clarke: Now say ssshhh and muck together real fast.
Lyle Rogers: Smuck!
Chuck Clarke: ...Closer.
Lyle Rogers: You really know the lingo.
        — Ishtar

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
        — Napoleon Dynamite

Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course.
Carl: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents.
Carl: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.
        — Caddyshack

Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone every told you you're bad luck.
Cousin Eddie: Those were my mothers dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talking crazy.
        — Vegas Vacation

Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Guy: Nothin' Nothin.
Ed Rooney: Who's winning?
Pizza Guy: The Bears
        — Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Brenda: Shorty, if you go to class every once in a while you would learn.
Shorty: I do go to class!
Brenda: Shorty, lunch is not a class.
Shorty: It is if you got the munchies.
        — Scary Movie

Coach Norton: By the way, did you boys take care of that witch that was gonna marry Silverman?
Wayne: Uhh yeah, yeah we snuffed that broad just like ya said
Coach Norton: Good, how'd ya do it?
Wayne: We um...
J.D.: Ate her...
Coach Norton: You ate her?
Wayne: Yea, we ate her
J.D.: Alive
Coach Norton: My hat goes off to you, you boys are smart, that's the perfect crime.
        — Saving Silverman

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?
        — American Pie

Words of Wisdom:

• At the dead donkey, the tail barley.
• Donkey carrying load of sticks to force ..., bad, bad, bad.
• Do not go where you can not easily pass the head.
• No stranger to come from poor people or old who has not been brave.
• As good as a horse, you need spurs.
• It is unfortunate that we get used to recognize examples of healthy beauty some classics, which perhaps are objectively good, but do not cause pleasure.
• The irrationality of a thing is not an argument against its existence, but rather a condition of it.
• Do not impose on anyone what you yourself can not bear.
• Want a great empire? Impera about yourself.
• The tongue is a sign of evil slanderer heart.