Funny Movie Quotes - Page 8

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
        — President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in Dr. Strangelove

Clarice (Jody Foster): If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?
Lecter (Anthony Hopkins): Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere.
        — Silence of the Lambs

Satellite Direct TV

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
        — Groucho in Duck Soup

Major Strasser (Conrad Veidt): What is your nationality?
Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart): I'm a drunkard.
Capt. Louis Renault (Claude Rains): That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
        — Casablanca

Oh! If I just wasn't a lady! What wouldn't I tell that varmint!
        — Scarlett (Vivian Leigh) in Gone With The Wind

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
        — Steve Martin, Bilko

Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.
        — Bernstein (Everett Sloane), Citizen Kane

Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please, start talking at the sound of the beep.
        — Harris K. Telemacher, L A Story

Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.
        — Barbatus, Antz

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
        — Bill Murray, What about Bob

If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer.
        — Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura

Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes.
        — Woodey Allen, Sleeper

It occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is you turn them into poor people.
        — Eddie Murphy, Trading Places

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
        — Alfred Hitchcock

The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now.
        — Steve Martin, The Jerk

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
        — David Letterman

Words of Wisdom:

  • My son, happiness is made of little things: A small yacht, a small mansion, a small fortune ...
  • The fate of men is made of happy times, life has them, but not happy times.
  • Only virtue and happiness where there is serious effort, because life is not a game.
  • If you're happy, hide. You can not walk by a jewelry-laden neighborhood of beggars. You can walk your own happiness as a miserable world.
  • The best we can do for those who love us is to remain happy.
  • Happiness is realizing that nothing is too important.
  • Not having some of the things you want is an indispensable condition of happiness.
  • Living for others is not only a law of duty but also an act of happiness.
  • The door opens inward happiness, one should retire a little to open it: if one pushes, the increasingly close.
  • What is happiness but the development of our faculties?