Funny Quotes - The World's Funniest - Page 2

You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.
        —Benjamin Franklin

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
        —Colette

You talking to me?
        —Taxi Driver

You' re not famous until my mother has heard of you.
        —Jay Leno

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don't do too many things wrong.
        —Warren Buffett

You never become a howling success by just howling.
        —Bob Harrington

You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your tricks of war.
        —Napolean Bonaparte

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
        —Samuel Levenson

You must always be puzzled by mental illness. The thing I would dread most, if I became mentally ill, would be your adopting a common sense attitude; that you could take it for granted that I was deluded.
        —Ludwig Wittgenstein

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
        —Eddie Murphy, Shrek

Words of Wisdom:

• If you want to be happy, as you say, do not analyze, boy, do not analyze.
• The kind of happiness is less need to do what I do not do what I do not.
• Give a man health and goals to achieve and will not stop to think about whether or not happy.
• Happiness consists, mainly, in accordance with luck, it's wanting to be what one is.
• The way to get happiness is making others happy.
• The happy man is he still king or peasant who finds peace at home.
• Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination.
• The good of humanity must be for everyone to enjoy the best of happiness you can, without diminishing the happiness of others.
• There are two ways to achieve happiness, one play the fool, another to be.
• He who seeks happiness outside of yourself is like a snail to walk in search of his home.