Funny Quotes - The World's Funniest - Page 3

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!
        —Eddie Murphy (Shrek)

You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
        —Mike Myers (Austin Powers: Goldmember)

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You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
        —Mike Myers, Austin Powers: Goldmember

You may say a cat uses good grammar. Well, a cat does -- but you let a cat get excited once; you let a cat get to pulling fur with another cat on a shed, nights, and you'll hear grammar that will give you the lockjaw. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use.
        — Mark Twain

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
        — Groucho in Duck Soup

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
        —Groucho, Duck Soup

You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret. He is French, people.
        —Conan O'Brien, 2003

You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music
        —Jim Carrey

You know that old saying, 'Strike while the iron is hot?' Well, I think that's a pretty dumb saying, 'cause I'll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too.
        — Charlie Acord

You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.
        —To Have And Have Not

Words of Wisdom:

  • The happiness of the body is based on the health of the understanding, in knowledge.
  • Happiness is not something that is experienced but something that is remembered.
  • The joyous mood does florida life and his spirit sad, wilted events.
  • What a strange thing is happiness! Nobody knows where or how or when it arrives, and arrives in ways invisible, sometimes when no longer awaits.
  • All the happiness that humanity can reach, lies not in pleasure but in rest from pain.
  • How long will we continue to believe that happiness is only one of the games of illusion?
  • The happiness you give the money lies in not having to worry about it.
  • Wait a happiness too great an obstacle to happiness.
  • The happiest man is he who does the happiness of the greatest number of others.
  • There is happiness in life, but knowing how to live.