Funny Quotes - The World's Funniest - Page 5

You can't eat your friends and have them too.
        —Budd Schulberg

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
        —Stephen King

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
        —Henny Youngman

You can't be a Real Country unless you have a Beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a Beer.
        —Frank Zappa

You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
        —Henry David Thoreau

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
        —Proverb

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
        —Gilbert K. Chesterton

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
        —Al Capone

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
        —Al Capone

You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.
        —Joseph E. Levine

Words of Wisdom:

• You're ambitious you are content with being happy.
• Happiness is better to imagine they have it.
• Do not call a mortal never happy until you have seen how, on his last day, down to the grave.
• The happy man is rarer than a white crow.
• Happiness is in ignorance of the truth.
• One advantage of not being happy is you could hope for happiness.
• The overall happiness of a people rests on the individual independence of its inhabitants.
• It never live, but we hope to live and be happy always available, it is inevitable that we are not ever.
• We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it, than to consume wealth without producing it.
• Let me escape the liar and criminal illusion of happiness! Give me work, fatigue, pain and excitement.