Funny Quotes - The World's Funniest - Page 8
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
—Plato
Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
—Cato the Elder
Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
—Benjamin Franklin
Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
—Benjamin Franklin
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
—John Barrymore
Why is it that we rejoice at birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
—Mark Twain
Why don't you come up sometime and see me?
—She Done Him Wrong
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?
—Barbara Streisand
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her -- when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
—Helen Rowland
Who's on first.
—The Naughty Nineties
Words of Wisdom:
- The horrible thing in this world is that we look with equal ardor to make us happy and keep the others are.
- How happy I was when I was unhappy.
- It would be very happy if I could say how I am.
- It is perhaps more fortunate enjoy collecting shells than to be born a millionaire.
- Knowledge is the largest share of happiness.
- Happiness is greater the less the caution.
- Bored uninterrupted happiness: You must have alternatives.
- If we only have to be happy, that would be extremely easy for us, but we want to be happier than others, and this is almost always impossible, because we believe that others are far more happy than they actually are.
- What would be happy if they knew that farmers are happy!
- No one is happy but by comparison.