Funny Quotes About Age - Page 7

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
        — Lucille Ball

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives.
        — Maurice Chevalier

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
        — Rodney Dangerfield

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
        — Rodney Dangerfield

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
        — Sigmund Z. Engel

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
        — Washington Irving

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
        — Kathy Lette

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
        — Bob Hope

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
        — Gracie Allen

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
        — George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
        — Sir Norman Wisdom

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
        — Mike Tyson

I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
        — Sir Cliff Richard