Funny Quotes about Children - Page 2
You see, money's not everything in life is it? but it keeps you in touch with your children...
—Johnnie Carson
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
—Jack Benny
When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.
—Henry Fielding (Tom Jones, 1749)
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
—Fyodor Dostoyevski
To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
—Ernest Hemingway
I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: "Hello, goodbye, and I'm pregnant.
—Dean Martin
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
—Clarence Darrow
A boy's story is the best that is ever told.
—Charles Dickens
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
—Bill Maher
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
—Bill Cosby
There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's age.
—Benjamin Spock