Funny Quotes about Crime

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You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
        — Al Capone

We enact many laws that manufacture criminals, and then a few that punish them.
        — Allen Tucker

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.
        — Will Rogers

There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to shoot someone just to see the numbers move.
        — David Letterman

The thief. Once committed beyond a certain point he should not worry himself too much about not being a thief any more. Thieving is God's message to him. Let him try and be a good thief.
        — Samuel Butler

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
        — George Bernard Shaw

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
        — H. L. Mencken

Successful crimes alone are justified.
        — John Dryden

Stripped of ethical rationalizations and philosophical pretensions, a crime is anything that a group in power chooses to prohibit.
        — Freda Adler

Funny Quotes about Crime: