Cute Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
        — Ellie Katz

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
        — George Eliot 1819-1880, British Novelist

The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits.
        — Albert Einstein

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
        — W. C. Fields

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
        — Mel Brooks

Everything ends this way in France - everything. Weddings, christenings, duels, funerals, swindlings, diplomatic affairs - everything is a pretext for a good dinner.
        — Jean Anouilh (1910-1987) French dramatist, screenwriter

My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
        — Woody Allen

To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.
        — Berton Averre

The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with today's complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if you're a guy, you cannot have enough RAM.
        — Dave Barry

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
        — George Burns