Cute Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 8

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
        — Unknown Author

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."
        — Homer Simpson

CLICK HERE to Receive Daily Insights and Inspirational text messages right to your cell phone every day! Inspirational text messages to mobile phones worldwide!

Instantly Search Millions of Public Records and Resources Using Our Public Record Databases Put an End to the Stress and Anxiety of Not Knowing What to Do to Save Your Troubled Marriage!

Every Baby Is A Born Genius. Discover How You Can Release The Genius In Your Child ... At The Click Of A Button! Get Help Now! Stopping Smoking, Insomnia, Impotence, Jealousy, Anger And Stress Management, Premature Ejac, Fear Of Flying, Nail Biting, Panic Attacks, Depression, Procrastination, Motivation, Fibromyalgia, Public Speaking, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'"
        — Unknown Author

"What you call dog with no legs? It don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."
        — Unknown Author

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
        — Unknown Author

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."
        — Unknown Author

"HEADLINE: 'Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.'"
        — Unknown Author

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
        — Unknown Author

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
        — Henny Youngman

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
        — Unknown Author