Cute Funny Quotes and Sayings - Page 8

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
        — Unknown Author

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."
        — Homer Simpson

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'"
        — Unknown Author

"What you call dog with no legs? It don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."
        — Unknown Author

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
        — Unknown Author

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."
        — Unknown Author

"HEADLINE: 'Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.'"
        — Unknown Author

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
        — Unknown Author

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."
        — Henny Youngman

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
        — Unknown Author