Funny Quotes about Death - Page 3

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I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
        —Woody Allen

If your time ain't come not even a doctor can kill you.
        —American Proverb

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.
        —Montaigne

If life must not be taken too seriously -- then so neither must death.
        —Samuel Butler

If even dying is to be made a social function, then, grant me the favor of sneaking out on tiptoe without disturbing the party.
        —Dag Hammarskjold

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure.
        —Clarence Darrow

I have lost friends, some by death--others by sheer inability to cross the street.
        —Virginia Woolf

I hate funerals and would not attend my own if it could be avoided
        —Robert T. Morris

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.
        —Woody Allen

Quotes about Death: