Funny Quotes About Dieting - Page 2

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
        —Orson Welles

I'm a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating.
        —Tommy John

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
        —Joe E. Lewis

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
        —Rita Rudner

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
        —Mae West

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.
        —Walt Whitman

I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to.
        —Linda Evangelista

Give me a dozen heartbreaks...if you think it would help me lose one pound.
        —Colette

Eat as much as you like--just don't swallow it.
        —Steve Burns

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
        —Tom Wilson

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
        —Hermione Gingold