Funny Quotes About Doctors - Page 3

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
        — James H. Boren

I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind,--and all the worse for the fishes.
        — Oliver Wendell Homes (Sr.)

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.
        — Alexander The Great

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think -- yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
        — Mark Twain

God help the patient.
        — Lord Mansfield

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
        — Benjamin Franklin

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.
        — Napoleon Bonaparte

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
        — Ambrose Bierce

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office.
        — Francis O'Walsh

A doctor’s reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care.
        — George Bernard Shaw