Famous Funny Quotes - Page 8

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
        — Saint Augustine (354-430)

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
        — Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
        — Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
        — Voltaire (1694-1778)

God, please save me from your followers!
        — Bumper Sticker

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
        — Plato (427-347 B.C.)

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
        — Gail Godwin

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
        — Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands

Half this game is ninety percent mental.
        — Yogi Berra

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
        — Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)