Funny Quotes About Marriage - Page 8

"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
        — Phyllis Diller

"To keep the fire burning brightly, there's one easy rule: keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart -- about a finger's breadth -- for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule."
        — Marnie Reed Crowell

"The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married."
        — Cyril Connolley

"People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman."
        — Erma Louise Bombeck

"My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked."
        — Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill

"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war."
        — Gilbert Keith Chesterton

"I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad."
        — W.C. Fields

"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
        — Agatha Christie