Funny Quotes about Men - Page 3

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
        —Jean Kerr

Men are generally more law-abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn't make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.
        —Diane Johnson

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
        —Tim Allen

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
        —Roseanne Barr

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
        —Kathy Lette

My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em.
        —Loretta Lynn

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
        —Tim Allen

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
        —Helen Rowland

On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
        —Bruce Willis

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.
        —Charles Bukowski