Funny Movie Quotes
There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
—Airplane
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
—Shrek
Stop Dieting — Start Eating — Start Living!
You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
—Duck Soup
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
—What about Bob
Barf: I'm a mawg: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
—Spaceballs
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
—Dumb and Dumber
Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.
—Citizen Kane
Tomorrow is the big day, so get your rest. No late parties, drinking tequila and trying to get lucky.
—School of Rock
I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
—Arthur
Good morning! And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.
—The Truman Show
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
—Bilko
Albert: I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now, look at me. I'm a short, fat, insecure, middle aged thing! Armand: I made you short?
—The Birdcage
The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.
—Love and Death
I'm getting sick, you smell like aftershave and taco meat!
—Blades of Glory
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
—Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people!
—The Man with Two Brains
It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.
—My Best Friend's Wedding