Funny Quotes about Parents - Page 2

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
        —Rodney Dangerfield

Mum comes in and says `I'm working out,' and she'll just be standing there naked doing a dance.
        —Kelly Osbourne

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
        —Dick Cavett

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
        —Rodney Dangerfield

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
        —Woody Allen

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
        —Rodney Dangerfield

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
        —Bill Cosby

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
        —Matthew Broderick (on Sarah-Jessica Parker's in-laws. Quoted in Sunday Mail, 26 Jan 2003)

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
        —Woody Allen

Quotes about Parents:

• Funny Parent Quotes 1
• Funny Parent Quotes 2