Funny Quotes About Sex - Page 17

The penis mightier than the sword.
        — Mark Twain

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.
        — Charles Pierce

The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.
        — Jean Cocteau

The reason people sweat is so they won't catch fire when making love.
        — Don Rose

There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L convertible.
        — P.J. O'Rourke

There are times not to flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand.
        — Joyce Jillson

There is no unhappier creature on earth than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to embrace the whole woman.
        — Klaus Kraus

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
        — Norman Mailer

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should draw the line at goats.
        — Elton John