Funny Quotes About Sex - Page 9

I'm a terrible lover. I've actually given a woman an anti-climax.
        — Scott Roeben

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror placed over my kitchen table.
        — Rodney Dangerfield

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
        — Woody Allen

I'm the outdoor type. As soon as a woman mentions commitment, I'm out the door.
        — Scott Roeben

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
        — Garry Shandling

In America, sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact.
        — Marlene Dietrich

Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?
        — Shakespeare

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
        — Woody Allen

Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex?
        — Rue McClanahan