Funny Quotes About Women - Page 4

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
        —Groucho Marx

At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.'
        —Mark Klein

All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
        —Miguel De Cervantes

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.
        —Oliver Herford

A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
        —Rudyard Kipling

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it off.
        —Robert Paul

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
        —W.C. Fields

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
        —Joey Adams

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.
        —Gloria Steinem

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
        —Rodney Dangerfield