Short Funny Quotes - Page 26

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.
        — Anon

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
        — H. L. Mencken

God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers
        — Jewish Proverb

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.
        — Oscar Wilde

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
        — Arthur Bloch

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs.
        — George Chapman

Fate laughs at probabilities.
        — Lytton E.G Bulwer

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
        — Laurence Peter

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
        — Oscar Wilde

Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth.
        — Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Words of Wisdom:

• The word is half of who says it, half to the listener.
• If men are born with two eyes, two ears and one tongue is because you must listen and look twice before you speak.
• A pardon can only be learned in life when our turn we needed to forgive us much.
• You may get something after three hours of fighting, but it sure can be achieved with just three words imbued with affection.
• Sex is part of nature. And I've been a great time with nature.
• It is better to do it and repent, and do not repent.
• The body is not only a means to become temporarily visible. Every birth is a ghost.
• Is forgiven as he loves.
• It is a thousand times easier to say what we think in a moment of anger, apologize later.
• It takes two years to learn to speak and sixties to learn to keep quiet.