Short Funny Quotes - Page 27

Everybody loves success, but they hate successful people.
        — John McEnroe

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.
        — Jane Austen

Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful.
        — Benjamin Disraeli

Every law is an infraction of liberty.
        — Jeremy Bentham

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.
        — Anon

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
        — Woody Allen

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
        — Sam Levenson

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day is plenty.
        — Harry Vardon

Don't lie if you don't have to.
        — Leo Szilard

Don't be too busy earning a living to make any money.
        — Joe Karbo

Words of Wisdom:

• There are few animals more fearsome than a communicative man who has nothing to report.
• Hase will talk like that to fewer words, fewer lawsuits.
• Sex is dirty only if done well.
• Just as the tree is fertilized with falling leaves and grows on its own, the men is enhanced by their hopes destroyed and all her affections waste.
• Sometimes things do not give the that deserves more, but who knows ask them insistently.
• I repented of having spoken, but never having kept silent.
• For men, is to accept, for women, giving is receiving.
• Many times what makes printing is quiet it is said.
• The man who laughs at all, despised everything. The woman who laughs at all, you know you have nice teeth.
• The dialogue, based on solid moral law, facilitates the resolution of conflicts and promotes respect for the life of every human life. Hence the resort to arms to settle disputes is always a defeat of reason and humanity.